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Plan for the first holidays after divorce

There really isn't ever a good time to get divorced. For some people, this major life change comes during the winter holiday season. If you are in this position, you need to make sure that you are planning for the emotions that are likely going to come.

There is a "year of firsts" that comes with a divorce. This encompasses all the events in your life that come with that first year of being single again. For the first Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, you might find that planning ahead can help you enjoy the holidays.

One important thing to remember is that you can reinvent your holidays. You don't have to do what you've always done. Instead, you can find new things to do that will become your traditions. Try out things you think you might enjoy. If you do, you can incorporate them into future celebrations. If you don't, just leave them off your holiday plans in the future.

Another thing you need to do is to find out what your children need. Talking to them about what they're feeling and thinking can be quite helpful. Remember that this is a big change for them too. They might not really know what they need, so you may have to pay attention to nonverbal clues.

If you are still in the process of divorcing, try not to let it take over your life. You do still have the right to enjoy yourself. Even if your ex is making everything difficult, you can't let them control your life now. Just make sure that you are still protecting your rights.

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