Does filing for divorce first really matter?

After much thought, you have accepted that your marriage is no longer working. Having decided that divorce is the best way forward, you might wonder if there is any advantage to filing first.

Being the one to initiate the divorce complaint may offer some initial strategic benefits, but these are not significant enough to determine the outcome.

What are the potential benefits of filing for divorce first?

As the initiator, you will be referred to as the “plaintiff,” and your spouse becomes the “defendant.” These titles do not imply fault for ending the marriage. They might only matter in terms of who presents their case first at trial, which could either be an advantage or disadvantage.

So, why do some spouses rush to file first?

• Control: Taking the lead may give you more control over the divorce proceedings, such as when hearings begin and where they will take place. If you and your spouse live in different states, the divorce complaint may catch them off guard.
• Preparation: Filing early allows you to get first pick of the attorney you want to represent you and start building a strategy. Your spouse has 30 days to respond from the time you serve them. You can use this time to start making copies of essential documents, such as titles and tax returns, which may be difficult to access later and begin preparations for life after divorce, such as exploring living arrangements.
• Automatic order: Filing and serving the divorce complaint triggers automatic orders, prohibiting you and your spouse from taking actions that may significantly impact marital property or child custody. A few examples included selling or disposing of assets, taking the children out of state or denying the other spouse access to the family home.

Despite these potential advantages, they might not be significant enough to sway the outcome.

Why it might not matter as much in the end

Being prepared for divorce may be more important than being the plaintiff or defendant. Having a competent legal team on your side may help you avoid common pitfalls that can affect the outcome and present strategies you would not have considered otherwise.

Additionally, family courts in Connecticut prioritize fairness, equitable distribution and the best interests of any children involved, regardless of who filed first.

Instead of rushing to file for divorce, investing time in understanding the process and finding a family law attorney who can effectively advocate for your needs may be more beneficial.